First, I should warn you that this blog contains profanity, specifically a certain four-letter “s” word. I have a hard rule against cursing in a professional blog and I’m even a little uncomfortable with it in personal blogs. It’s not that I don’t curse in real life – I can make a sailor blush if I’m in the mood. It’s just that I’m uncomfortable putting it in writing and then publishing it on the Internet for all the world to see and Google to index with my name. I’m sure you understand. But this is one of those rare moments when there is no getting around it.
Last year, I served as the teaching assistant for Samra Bufkins, APR, a lecturer on public relations and social media strategy at the University of North Texas’ Mayborn School of Journalism. I was a full-time grad student and a new mom so she was kind enough to give me a key to her office so I could privately take care of my duties as a walking dairy farm. As I sat there in her office during these sessions, I had a lot of time to look around and realized that she is a hoarder of weirdness. Her office is like a physical manifestation of attention-deficit-disorder.
In her social media class, I threatened to create a Tumblr blog called Sh*t on Samra’s Desk and post pictures of all the weird things I found. I started to do it but then I realized that out of context, sh*t sounded like an action to be taken on her desk rather than a description of the artifacts found there. Naturally she loved the idea and it seemed to compliment the hashtag of the semester #ShitSamraSays, so this blog post is the next best thing.
One day I finally started documenting all of the strange things she collects. Here are five of the most notable (in my opinion) and odd relics from her office.
Bacon sh*t – What could be more sanitary on an open wound than a strip of bacon? And bacon mints? I actually tried the mints once and then spit it out. I love the taste of bacon but I have yet to figure out why anyone would want to taste bacon without actually eating bacon.
Masks and sh*t – I’m sure this is somehow related to the time she spent living in Mexico, but all I can think of when I see this luchador mask is Jack Black from Nacho Libre. As for the gas mask, I can’t think of any reason to own one unless you are auditioning for a spot on Doomsday Preppers.
Excuses and sh*t – I love this magic eight ball of excuses for something didn’t get done. Just give it a good shake for a selection of totally believable reasons why that deadline was missed.
Story Book sh*t – Somehow she managed to visit not one, but TWO mystical lands and come out with the two most important artifacts – Aladdin’s magic lamp and the Queen of Hearts’ chalice. I wonder what her three wishes were and how she managed to escape Wonderland with her head in tact.
Random cluttered sh*t – A dirty fork, a bottle of cold medicine, scotch tape, a name tag, an oil diffuser that hasn’t seen oil in three years and a creepy beetle paperweight – that’s all normal, right? Seriously, that bug paperweight has bothered me since the first time I laid eyes on it. I keep expecting the beetle to come alive and eat me like the scarab beetles in The Mummy.
Now don’t think this is all. I took lots of pictures and there is more to come. Like I said, her office is full of random, weird, funny and odd sh*t each with its own story. Just ask her – she is a great storyteller with enough stories to fill two lifetimes.